THE LULU CHRONICLES
This week Atticus and I are in Door County, Wisconsin—a tiny slice of heaven if you ask me. Gary thought so too. We came here just about every October for our anniversary. It offers the beauty of Lake Michigan, bluffs, trails, a little bit of shopping, and good food. Sometimes we’d camp, sometime we’d stay in a resort or motel, and for the last few years, we were fortunate enough to celebrate in a condo some friends insisted we use. That’s where I am now.
I came to write. The latest book needs some
editing. But, there’s something else I felt I needed to do here. I call it reclaiming. It takes time and great effort, and I am also discovering, it
takes the fortitude of a Viking to glean what must be gleaned from a season of
mourning. I feel this urgency to
reclaim things and places that meant so much to us. I don’t want to shun them,
or ignore them, or allow them to become taboo or sad. Of course, some places and things will
be harder than others, but it all must be done if I am going to be able to
eventually reclaim my own life.
The Cleveland Clan- Door County- circa1985-ish |
On Sunday, I took Atticus on a hike on the shores
of Lake Michigan. So many memories were made on these trails and camping sites.
At one section of the park there are some huge rocks lining the shore. When the
tide is out, you can hopscotch quite a ways out from the bank. I felt called
there on Sunday. I needed to hear the water lap over those rocks and the
melody that only that tide can sing.
Years ago, Gary and I stood on that exact spot, kissed and promised
ourselves we’d one day repeat our vows there. We did eventually repeat our
vows, but it wasn’t here. So, today I built a tiny Stonehenge-like rock pile in
honor of us, our life together, and my life now. And, I thanked God for every
good moment He gave us. It just felt
right.
Atticus having a romp in Lake Michigan |
Me, Atticus & Door Cty. |
Seeing that young couple together did not make me
sad. It made me thankful for every good moment. God is indeed near.
deb
5 comments:
I love reading these! Keep them up!
Great writing. Any goats on Al Johnson's Roof?
Thanks, Brad. And Bill, no goats this time. It's been snowing for the last two days, so I think the goats are still in Florida. Love yous guys...
Reading your blog teaches me that personal healing has community and universal benefits. I am so challenged and encouraged by this open sharing of your grieving process. You continue to remind me how immense God is- and how adept He is at finding even the tiniest hairline fractures in our hearts and healing them. He wants His people to be whole. Thank you, Deb. You are a courageous woman.
Sometimes a little voice in the back of my head asks, "What's the point of loving deeply when it all ends in pain and parting?" Thanks for giving me answers so I can talk back to it, Deb.
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