Okay, so it’s been seven or so months since I last blogged. In fact this is only my second entry. Sorry. I will try and do better. … Today I am sick. I’ve got the punies. I guess I could have gone to church this morning, but to be honest, I simply wanted to be by myself. I need to wrestle with God about some things. So this morning I spent time in prayer as I read the book of Job. . . well most of it. I think what Job tells me is that God will do what He wants, when He wants and to whom he wants. Not out of anger or anything bad like that, but because He sees the bigger picture. He is telling us that this HERE, the life HERE is just what it is—fleeting and time is running out. We only get, say 80 to 90 (mostly less) years to do what we’re going to do; to give what we’re going to give; to play the part we are going to play—in advancing God’s kingdom—in proclaiming the Good News. And, then we go home.
During the storms of our lives, God promises us as He did Job, that we will always be able to feel His presence. He doesn’t promise to take the pain and sorrow away, only that He will be right there standing in our tears, holding us up and saying in some divine lovely language, “There, there.”
I wished I could shake my fist at God and dare Him to come out from behind His throne and meet with me. I wished if I did that, I could have the speech prepared that Job did-- that I could say with all honesty, “Try and find fault with me. I have done all that You’ve asked without malice and with honor.” Of course that’s my paraphrase, but that’s what I’m thinking Job said. I can’t do that. I haven’t lived as righteously as Job. I know malice well.
So, I guess I’m writing this to say; maybe I will try…try to be a better person this year. I’ve been coasting for the past two years. I’ve had two major operations on the same knee. In fact, I no longer have a right knee. I have this techie gadget where my knee used to be. It bends and does some incredible things but it has been a bear to get used to and it has created a lot of havoc in my life—my private life, the part of my life that has me getting up every morning hurting so badly I’m convinced it will be impossible to walk again. But I do get up and I do eventually walk with the aid of drugs and shear willpower. Now don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t. But I have had my bad days; Too many of them. I have allowed those bad days to get me off course; to forget why I’m here and who I am…so much so that I can’t do what Job did—ask God to meet with me on the porch to see how good I have been. I haven’t been that good. I haven’t been that faithful, at least, not as faithful as I want to be, should be, can be.
It is late January and I’m thinking now would be a good time, to get back to it—my life—my purpose—my mission—back to Kingdom stuff. If you, too, have gotten off course this last year, why don’t you join me. About 9 a.m. or so every morning, I’m hoping to get myself down on my good knee and invite God to meet with me—to help me be more like His faithful Job…accepting the good with the bad, the comfortable with the uncomfortable, and to accept the afflictions with the blessings. I know He’ll come.
Have a good week, friends…or whomever it is who might be reading this. Drop by again. Blessings…
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