Thursday, March 7, 2013

The waiting room...

Nellie Rose... something that was worth the wait.

THE LULU CHRONICLES

“Waiting must be the precursor to hell.” I just wrote that in an email to a friend. I don’t know much about hell, really. Just the typical cartoon stuff like it’s hot, lots of fire and brimstone, Satan over in the corner with his horns and harpoon, or whatever that thing is they always show him holding. The only real truth that I know about hell is that God won’t be there.  How chilling is that?
Well, in this waiting room that I’m in right now, there are moments, only moments, mind you, that I feel like God isn’t here. My heart and my theology tell me something different. However, during those few brief lonely moments, I feel hell is just around the corner.
Waiting for news or for something to happen is an ugly place. I wished every medical student or nurse in training had to sit in this place that I am in just for one day. To feel the panic, the loneliness, the limbo that waiting for their call puts one in. Test results, a doctor’s voice, an appointment made, “yes, it’s cancer” or “no, it’s not”—the waiting for those things causes you to feel the heat of hell … just for a moment.
Then, my heart kicks in, my faith that God never leaves us alone, that His timing is wiser than ours, etc., I grasp those things with both hands and hold on. I reach out longing for the touch of His holy hand that I am confidant is already outstretched towards me.
The waiting room is an odd place. My heart tells me He fills every nook and cranny, yet…
If you are in that place, I pray your wait will be short.
Later,
Deb

P.S. Poor LuLu, she’s been waiting out the garage for the snow to melt for a while now…

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