THE LULU CHRONICLES
LuLu-ism #47: When all else fails, go back to the original plan... silly!
I woke up this morning with this little seed of something trying to grow inside of me. It’s hard to explain, really. But I felt it sprouting root, a little sprig of something delightful. It dawned on me that I’d felt this before; there was a familiarity to it—almost a memory of something wonderful that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Then it hits me… it’s joy.
Joy, Oh where hast thou been? It knocked me between the eyes that I haven’t felt joyful, truly joyful in a long time. It’s like I’ve been in a dark forest forced to rummage for my own food, forced to watch my own back, and forced to do it all alone; When suddenly I come to the edge of the dark line of trees and I see a meadow. The sunlight is so brilliant I have to squint to see. As my eyes adjust I begin to make out bright, shimmering colors and the smell of fertile, rich earth becomes intoxicating. Oh, and the breeze is just cool enough to chase away the last remnants of sleep, yet warm enough to makes me kick off my heavy boots, tear off my wool socks and run barefoot on the damp, dewy ground.
Joy! I have been so burden down with heavy tarps of worry, with tasks, with responsibility, and yes, I must admit, with fear, that joy hasn’t seen the light of day inside me in months and months. The darkening happened so gradually I didn’t notice and honestly, was too distracted to care.
My husband still has cancer. My latest book is still not published. My sweet parents are struggling with health issues; bills still show up in our mailbox, oh, the list goes on. Life is messy and it gets so cumbersome at times that it’s a wonder we can stand upright at all. But then…
Joy happens. God kicks the heavy tarps away and roars, “ Listen to me! I’m still here! You are not alone! You have never been alone!” And then in a quieter voice He says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and You will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
There it is, right there… Joy!