THE LULU CHRONICLES
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| The Hubs & me |
The good news is that I am
healing. The bad news is that it is slow going and quite painful. However, I am
hopeful. I’ve experienced little glimpses of reflected light as if Someone has
run their hand along a thick curtain, parting it ever so slightly. Just beyond and
out of reach, I briefly catch a sliver of color and feel a small breeze. Just
as quickly the curtain closes and it’s gone. But I saw what I saw and it brings
promise.
Other things have begun happening that have given me an
indication that life, my life, will
proceed. Silly things really. But you see, silly and ridiculous, have always
been a part of who I am, who we were.
Gary and I shared a life that was not only lovingly, but also full of fun and
oddities. Like the time an eleven dollar roast disappeared from our freezer.
One day it was there, the next day it was gone. I accused our sons of swiping
it for some special effect for one of their home movies. They denied it. I
accused friends of sneaking in and taking it just to mess with us. They denied
it. The mystery of the missing roast has never been solved—even after I
reported it to the police department (much to the embarrassment of my sons). Or
the time Gary and I were in the car when we spotted this fiery balloon-like
thingy floating in the sky. We followed it through town, chasing it down
streets and avenues until suddenly, it just disappeared. It was like we were
the only ones who saw it. No mention was made on the news or in the paper. But
we were convinced we saw a bonafide UFO. That’s our story and we sticking to
it.
Well, yesterday, my puppy, who has developed a naughty habit
of jumping up and grabbing things off the counters, swallowed my contacts, case
and all. Later in the day you should have seen my optometrist’s face as I tried
to explain to him what happened to my contacts and why I needed an appointment
right away. I could have done without his smirk and the eye rolls. Don’t worry
Atticus was fine. Everything passed on through, if you know what I mean.
I’ve lost my husband. My life is unrecognizable to me. My
compass hasn’t been able to settle upon true north yet. I’m trying to jump
start my emotions and to feel less foreign in my own life. It has been three
months and seventeen days since I last heard my darling’s voice. I miss our
life together. I miss the tenderness, the conversation, and I miss the
silliness. We laughed a lot.
Yesterday, I laughed all by myself. My dog ate my contacts.
Gary would have loved that.
It’s something familiar. I’ll take what I can get.
“When the cares of my heart
are many, your consolations cheer my soul.”
~ Psalm 94:19
1 comment:
Your thoughts are so rewarding to read.
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