Wednesday, June 11, 2014


Guatemala-- where I'll soon be.

I’ve been waiting for eight months to have a dream about Gary. I’ve always heard how sometimes when you’ve lost someone close you have this wonderful dream experience where the two of you are together again. I’ve had several people tell me about the dreams they’ve had about Gary and how real they were. One person wrote and told me that the Hubs came to her in a dream and wanted her to tell me he was okay. That’s all good, but I haven’t had a dream yet... until this week.
In my dream, Gary and I were running together, holding hands. It felt wonderful to feel my hand in his again. Gary’s hands were the first things I noticed about him when we first met. They were large and confident. And, the first time we actually held hands, the warmth and strength of them convinced me that this man could protect me from anything. Good thing, because in my dream the other night we were being chased by Godzilla.
Seriously? After eight months and this is what I get?  I used to dream so vividly. Falling asleep was like going to the movies minus the popcorn. I even started leaving a pad and pen by the bed to quickly write them down when I awoke. I thought there possibly might be a book emerge from one of them some day.
Gary rarely dreamed. I should say, he rarely remembered his dreams. I felt sorry for him because his dream life seemed so boring. While I was off on crazy adventures between midnight and the ringing alarm, Gary spent his time, well, sleeping.
These days, my dreams are disjointed and mostly absent, so when the Hubs made his debut the other night I was thrilled—minus the part about the large, angry reptile trying to eat us. No matter, I was grateful for the brief moment we connected. It was just a dream, but I like to think it was also a small gift, a gesture, a bit of grace. My hand found its home, and it was lovely. 
For the next couple of weeks I will lay my head in various strange beds. I can only hope my dream life will find me. I hear Guatemala is full of color and charming people. I’ve been told the children, with their dark, almond eyes are beautiful and seem never far from God’s hand. I wonder what dreams the experience will bring? I wonder if Gary will meet me there?
Do something for me? When you lay yourself down at night and get settled on your pillow, if you aren’t too tired, would you say a prayer for me? Would you ask our Father to bless this mission trip? Ask Him to use me for His purpose, to wear me out daily. Ask Him to humbly allow me to be an answer to someone’s prayer. (Oh, and just before you drift off to sleep, do not, I repeat, do not, allow your brain to go where there might be even a hint of a huge, green, toothy lizard thingy. One Godzilla dream is one too many.)
Hopefully, I’ll post next from the highlands of Guatemala.  Until then...

1 comment:

The Four of Us said...

I will be praying for your trip and we will be waiting for you at your home when you get back, Jude, Tim and I! Hopefully, you won't be too worn out to tell us all about your adventure.