Monday, September 24, 2012

First Steps



I've had a rough time with God lately.  For a while life has hurled questions at me at a pretty fast clip. What should I do about this? What should I do about that?             

So, what did I do?  I took these questions to God expecting answers.  I told myself I could and would accept whatever the answers were.  I stood, ready, listening, and waiting. 

I heard nothing.  I felt nothing.  Well, that’s not exactly true.  I felt everything  Fear. Doubt.  Frustration.  Hurt.  Answers.  I just wanted answers!
I processed.  I waited.  I re-processed.  I continued to wait.  I evaluated.  I waited. I re-evaluated.  I waited.

Today, I stopped waiting and walked out on a limb.  I took a deep breath, gave God a nasty look and inched forward.
I'm now sitting here lighthearted, a little shaky, but confident I did the right thing.
“God, You knew I was hiding behind You didn't you?  You knew I was playing it too safe and You wouldn't let me get away with it.”
Faith has nothing to do with safety and everything to do with taking first steps and praying while you run.
I have so much to learn.


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