Tuesday, April 23, 2013

He owns the cape...

The Hubs was diagnosed with Stage Three melanoma two years ago. A little over six weeks ago we were told he had now entered Stage Four—the cancer had found its way into his liver. In an instant nothing was as it had been.
How do you move forward when the skids have been knocked out from under you? How do you get air back into your lungs when you’ve been punched in the stomach? How do you protect everything and everyone you cherish from this horrible threat? How do your find the strength to get off the chair and walk out of the doctor’s office after such news? How do you stop the fear from strangling you? How do you find the control to keep a deep agonizing moaning from escaping from your gut and breaking all the glass around you? How do you….
The answer is you don’t. You can’t do any of the above. You are helpless. You are clueless. You are weak. You are over your head. You have no control. You have no rudder. You have no paddle. You have no compass. You have no map. You have no cape. You have no super powers. You have nothing.
Lying in the rubble that was once your life you are forced to admit a hard reality. You were always helpless, clueless and in over your head. Cancer didn’t do that to you. Arrogance and self-importance are smoke and mirrors.
You can’t. You never could.
It’s Him. It’s always been Him.
He is your strength. He is your compass. He is your rudder. He owns the cape.
How do I get through my days? I don’t. He does it for me.
My Rock. My Redeemer.


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